the absurd observers

Friday, August 12, 2005

Boomers may need big words

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Thanks to my brother for this one.
Apparently, publishing companies are testing the Baby Boomer market for books with large type, which would be easier on their deminishing eyesight. This is one of a number of steps that businesses, the government, and other institutions will make to serve and pacify the Boomers.
The people with the real money making opportunity here, though, are the proprietors of extra large printing presses. Afterall, books are not the only item which requires large letters to be accessible to our aging BBs: restaurant menus, ingredient labels on supermarket items, road maps, newspapers, business cards. In fact, the entire stationary industry should expect a boom. If my business cards need to be in larger type, I will probably need business cards the size of Manila envelopes. Moreover, extra thick pens and pencils will be needed to write giant notes on supersized post-it notes and wall sized calendars. In a few short years, every Baby Boomer house will look like a lost room from Charlie and the Chocolate factory - "The cube of humungus lettering." Street signs will be doubled or tripled in size. Register receipts will need their own bag. Newspapers will be delivered via flat-bed truck, as will junk mail, which will be so large that everyone in your neighborhood will know that you are, in fact, already a winner.
But is all this necessary? Couldn't everyone could just wear glasses? Need we live in a Seussian picture book, where people must walk back and forth to read the assembly instructions because they are written in such large type that the pamphlet is the size of a football field? Yes, we must.

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