the absurd observers

Friday, July 22, 2005

Unleash the Tucson Raging Grannies

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I apologize for the recent lack of posts, but we've been busy with work lately. And even though I will be working all weekend, I still found the time this afternoon to bring you this hard hitting news story. Apparently some elderly women in Arizona are getting political. After getting arrested, one woman explained why her group, the self-described "Tucson Raging Grannies", was booked for trespassing at a local army recruiting center:

"We went in asking to be sent to Iraq so our kids and grandchildren can be sent
home, but rather than listening to us, they called the police," said 74-year-old
Betty Schroeder.

Let's ignore the political issues involved, and the moral issues, and the practical issues, and all other complicated aspects of this story. I think it's important that we address what sent the bagel chips and hummus out my nose when I read this headline: the name "Tucson Raging Grannies". No punk rock band, hurricane, weather channel-named-blizzard, professional wrestler, muppet, politician, fast food promotion, tagline, slogan, or nasal spray has ever donned such an impressive name.

If anything, this name will carry these grannies into the media spotlight. How could it not? Is it possible to read the words "Raging Grannies" and not picture a bunch of elderly women going beserk in an IHOP because the syrup ran out? I think not. And if you can avoid that mental image it is only because you are imagining a horde of grandmothers tipping over slot machines and throwing their teeth at the pitboss in a casino.

"Raging Grannies" want to go to war? Who's going to stop them? How would you stop a Raging Granny? I mean, an ornery granny, maybe you could talk her down. An angry granny, maybe you could appease her with some jello or a romance novel. But Raging Grannies, well, they're in a rage! They are out of control, looting stores, getting tattoos, piercing their wigs, and cursing like sailors. Soon they'll be Raging Granny biker gangs, bouncers, security details, and, if they get their way, special forces.

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