the absurd observers

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Ex-milkman guilty of securities fraud


Ebbers was found guilty of securities fraud and filing false statements. CNNmoney provides more background on the Ex-CEO of Worldcom:
Ebbers, a former milkman, basketball coach and Best Western hotel owner before
he discovered the telecom business in 1983...

He was a milkman? That's pretty unbelievable, and not because I don't believe in upward mobility. I find it unbelievable because a milkman seems like an honest man. Norman Rockwell paintings don't show milkmen planning elaborate deceptions or stealing milk from the residents of a sleepy little town. This article might be the first time that anyone has ever used the words "milkman" and "chicanery" within a paragraph of each other. In fact, reading the words in such proximity of each other makes me a little depressed.

Here are some other phrases that I hope will not be associated with each other:
  1. "New coffee flavor" and "green olives" (because black olive coffee has a chance)
  2. "Bush" and "I.Q. score of ____" (because I'd rather just not know)
  3. "Mr.T." and "retires" (because then who would pity the fool?)
  4. "television" and "monopoly" (because competition is responsible for such classics as "the surreal life")


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